Apparently you make a good broom.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You made out with two different species that night
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
