i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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