I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
