he puts the penis in happiness.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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