and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
