im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
