Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
