Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
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