We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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