It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize