I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
