Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
