my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
