It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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