Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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