suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
