I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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