Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
