i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize