No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
