so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
