Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
