When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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