Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You've changed since you got that strap on
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
