I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
