Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
