Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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