you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize