Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
