While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
