I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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