she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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