I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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