the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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