Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
