eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
