i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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