We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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