I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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