holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
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