That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
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imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
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They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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