your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
