areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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