i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
