Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
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you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
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worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
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