NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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