Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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