I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
