I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
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By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
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I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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