Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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