How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
