:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
