just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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