There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
