I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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