where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
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