mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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