i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
