we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
