anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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