But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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