Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I lost the right to judge tonight
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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