We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
