in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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