The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
