Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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