Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
