So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
