Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
