Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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